Postpartum Fog and a Bucket List

So here's the truth... sometimes postpartum emotions are weird.  It's not always something screaming "YOU HAVE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION", but instead just this nagging voice saying "this isn't really you right now".  Everyone knows how to look for PPD but not everyone knows what to do when it's just something about your feelings and your energy level that just seems a little off.  I felt really great the first two months after Lane was born, and then there was a shift... almost overnight.  All of a sudden I felt unmotivated to leave the house, and the smallest tasks seemed monumental.  It took every ounce of strength I had to push through the simplist tasks like getting us all showered and bathed and dressed... much less leaving the house. 

I thought I could blame it on lack of sleep, but I was sleeping really well considering I had a two month old.  I thought I could blame the irritability on the fact that I have a very spirited 3 year old.  But, even through all of that, I knew it was a bit more.  I think that the way I was feeling was partially situational, because we had so many stressors pop up all at once, but I also know that the after-pregnancy hormonal shift was not helping.

I'm lucky in the fact that my experience has been minimal, and I haven't needed to truly "get help" like many people experiencing much worse times postpartum.  I know that many people experience severe postpartum depression, and I feel fortunate that mine isn't at that level.  But, I do know that I need to work through the feelings that I'm experiencing.  I've found simple things like getting some sun, getting some exercise, and getting out of the house helps.  Sometimes it feels like so much work to push through it and force yourself to go through the steps...even if your emotions aren't behind them... get the kids dressed, get yourself dressed, take a deep breath, get the stroller, put them in the stroller, start walking, just keep walking, it will get better, keep walking, keep pushing, it's getting easier with every step, just keep walking... this too shall pass.

At the end of the walk, or the playdate, or the trip to the store, I always feel better.  More like myself again.  Being cooped up all day doesn't help anyone feel sane.  Having a traveling spouse doesn't help the sanity either.  Getting out of the house or doing something productive is key.  I try to remind myself this is just a phase, and it's not supposed to be easy, nothing about parenting ever is.  Over time I do feel like I'm feeling more and more normal, and some days I don't feel unmotivated or irritable at all... I feel like myself.  So I know it's getting better.  Everytime I do something fun with the kids, I feel myself taking a step closer to feeling 100% myself again. 

So in the spirit of trying to stay motivated and keep pushing through this rut I wrote up a Bucket List of things I wanted to do this spring.  Some of it seems super simple, but when you're trying to force yourself to do something as easy as dressing yourself, it helps to simplify.  Everytime I'm feeling unmotivated, or discouraged, or irritable, I'm going to look to this list for something to do to help change the tone of the day.  I wrote this a couple days ago, and have already done a few of things on it, and then I realized sharing my list may help someone else.  Whether you're having postpartum issues, or a parenting rut, or just trying to keep on keeping on (if you're a stay at home mom you know what I mean!) maybe you have a list of your own.  I'd love to hear what's on your spring bucket list... or hear what helped you if you've experienced any issues postpartum.  So please share!  (Feel free to send me a private message if you'd prefer...)

Spring Bucket List

 

 

Kid/Family Stuff:

 

-  Go on a nature hike.

-  Try a new playground.

-  Pack a picnic lunch together and have a picnic in the field.

-  Take Jace to Chuckie Cheese to play games and eat pizza.

-  Go to the cupcake boutique and let Jace pick out whatever flavor he wants. 

-  Take Jace out on his scooter.

-  Host a playdate.

-  Go to Storytime.

-  Teach Jace the days of the week, and months of the year in a fun way.

-  Dip banana chunks in yogurt and sprinkles and freeze them for a treat with Jace.

-  Rent a movie and make popcorn in the middle of the afternoon.

-  Take a trip to Atlanta and go to the Aquarium

-  Go to the Museum.

-  Go to the Farmer's Market together.

-  Check books out at the Library.

-  Set up a chalk and bubbles area for Jace on the back porch.

-  Find a kid's craft on Pinterest, and DO it.

-  Set up the pool and water toys in the backyard.

-  Go go-carting.

-  Make home-made bubble snakes.

-  Make rainbow pancakes for breakfast.

-  Let Jace help make Lane's first baby food and feed him.

-  Set up a ball pit for both kids to play in.

-  Feed the ducks.

-  Catch bugs.

-  Go to the beach and build sand castles.

-  Do a good deed together, or make something for someone.

-  Go to Bee City (Zoo)

-  Go to breakfast at the diner and have pie for dessert.

-  Host a family BBQ.

-  Play hopscotch.

-  Make homemade pizzas together.

-  Make candlelit dinners and "unplugging" a weekly tradition.

-  Go to the neighborhood pool.

-  Pick blueberries.

-  Read an educational book with Jace.

 

Me Stuff:

 

-  Get into a workout routine, no matter how small.

-  Wake up before the kids and enjoy coffee in peace and quiet.

-  Buy a new wardrobe, and makeup.

-  Have dinner out with friends.

-  Do something crafty.

-  Organize something.  (yes, that would make me happy...)

-  Lay out in the sun.

-  Get hair done.

-  Get coffee with a friend.

-  Learn a new skill and perfect an old one.

-  Sew something for the kids.

-  Try a new recipe.

-  Shower and get ready for the day before the kids wake up.

-  Start training for a 5k.

-  Go dancing downtown.

-  Have a real date night.

-  Get a manicure or pedicure.

 

 

Nothing major... but it helps to have something visual to look at when you're struggling, in my opinion.  I'm crossing them off as we go, although I'm sure we will do some of them many more times this spring.  Anything fun on your spring bucket list??