Happy 1st Birthday Lane!

*** Sorry Lane, I'm three days late posting this... your birthday was filled with so much fun I just didn't have time to get this posted on the 16th!**

One year old already!  Lane you are the sunshine of your daddy and mommy and big brother's lives.  Ever since you were born we have felt so much more complete as a family.  It's hard to explain because we thought we felt like a complete family before you were born, but you were the piece to the puzzle we didn't know was missing.  You have brought more joy into our lives than I could have imagined possible.  Watching the first year fly by as a second time parent is so much different than the first.  I tried to really experience it all and not rush you through it because I knew that, although sometimes overwhelming, the baby stage is fleeting.

You still have so much "baby" in you, and I'm happy for that.  You've shown me how it was possible to love two children who are so extremely different, in the same deep way... but with a different type of love.  My love for you is protective and nurturing.  You are the child who will always need his mommy's comfort, and I love that.  You are sweet and calm and shy... and so loving and affectionate to all of us.

I thought that I would be super emotional watching you have your first birthday... but really all I felt was happiness.  You are at the perfect stage right now.  You're coming into your own personality and you're always happy and laughing.  Watching you discovering the world around you for the first time is so precious.  You and Jace play together really well at this stage too, which is really nice.

For your birthday we had a big 1st birthday party with all of our family and friends.  It was the first time we'd had people over to our new house, and it was really special seeing everyone come out to celebrate your big milestone.  All of your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins were there... and several of your great aunts and uncles and second cousins were there too.  A few of mommy and daddy's friends came too.  You won't remember much of the party I'm sure, but a first birthday party is a special thing you can't do again.  It's a celebration of your life, and a chance for everyone to come out and show their support for their part in your upbringing.  It takes a village you know... and all of these people are part of that village.

You got so incredibly spoiled at your birthday... but it was the first time you really got alot of things that were your own (second child syndrome!) and you were so excited to open up those presents and see what was inside.  All of your presents were special, but you received a few things you can treasure for years to come, like a piggy bank with your name on it, a stuffed animal that Jace made for you, and a Dr. Suess birthday book that everybody at the party signed that we'll read to you on all of your future birthdays. 

You seemed to enjoy your party, although you wanted me to hold you the whole time.  The only part where you got overwhelmed was when it was time to smash your cake.  I had made you a special cake with a dump truck on top, since you've been so into trucks lately.  When everyone gathered around with their cameras and started singing you "Happy Birthday" you got really overwhelmed and started hysterically crying... so much so that you didn't even try your cake.  Poor thing!

The day after your birthday was a highlight day... one of those days that I will remember because of the warm fuzzy feeling I had all day.  We spent the day relaxing as a family downstairs, the mess of the party still all around.  You and Jace played together on the floor all day and daddy and I just relished in what a great year it's been and how lucky we are to have such amazing little boys.

Lane, the moment you came into our lives it was forever changed.  Having you has really only solidified what a powerful thing the love of a parent is.  You made me want 100 more kids, just so that all of our hearts would grow again and again like they did a year ago.  We love you to the moon and back!

First Year Stats:

Weight: 20 lbs 1 oz  (12th percentile)

Height: 31.5 inches (84th percentile)

Nickname: "Toom-Toom" (because of your constant fuzzy "hair tumor" on the back of your head)

Likes: Bathtime (total water baby!), trucks, and tupperware.

Dislikes: Not being able to see mommy.

Sleeping: In your crib in your own room, but you're still waking up during the night.

Eating: You try everything, but don't like to eat much.  You would rather just have milk.

Milestones: You are not yet walking, but speed crawl and walk along things and pull to standing.

Words: You say "mama", "dada", "bye" (while waving), "yea" (while nodding), "uh-uh" (while shaking head) and sometimes other random words will slip out (yay, snow, etc).

Teeth: You have your front 4 teeth and the 5th and 6th are coming in on top.  You have these amazing spaced out buck teeth that I can't get enough of.

Other: You recently started leaning in and giving kisses.  It may be the best thing ever. 


** I am going to post more pictures and details of your party soon!**

Happy 4th Birthday Jace!

 

 

Happy 4th Birthday Jace!  I can't believe the day is here... and that four years have passed so quickly.  Cliché of course, and over-said, but it really does fly by way too fast.  A birthday is a big deal, it closes one chapter and opens another, and I'm ready to close the "3" chapter!  ;)

 

All jokes aside, I have been reflecting a lot on the past year and where we were on your 3rd birthday.  I was overdue with your brother, and knew that any day your life would be turned upside down.  I worried so much about you and how you would transition... and if you would be jealous... and if you'd love the baby... and if I could really juggle two... and would I love the second as much as you (how could that be possible?!).  All of my fears were irrational and you turned into the best big brother I could have imagined.  The only thing I didn't plan or worry about was the fact that I would end up with post partum depression, and I had no idea how hard that would be on my relationship with you. 

 

You're way too young to understand what that means at this point, and it's not really something anyone can understand unless they've experienced it themselves... But, I wasn't a perfect parent this year.  I used to know I was a good mom.  But this year is bittersweet to look back on because I know I wasn't always great to you, and I can't get that year back.... there are no "do overs".  I know I was quick to snap, easily irritated and sometimes less caring than I should have been... and I'm sorry.  Motherhood is a constant journey to be better, and as these hormones are finally starting to normalize, I promise this chapter is closing and the [at least mostly] good mom will return. 

 

 

 

To me you will always be my sweet baby, who showed me how deep a mother's love can be... and as you grow that love will never change.  You are the most spunky, smart, and funny little boy I've ever met, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mom.  I have no doubt you will be a successful, motivated adult... because it's in who you are already.  You have so much spunk and energy and intelligence, it sometimes makes parenting you a challenge, but I wouldn't change a thing about you.

 

In the last year my love for you has grown as I watch how great of a big brother you are.  Of course you struggle occasionally with being gentle, or sharing... and sometimes the little green jealousy monster creeps in.  But, for the most part, you are the sweetest big brother.  You often surprise me by packing toys or books for Lane in your backpack when we go places... you always think of him and love him just as much as daddy and I do.  The love I had for you just grew as I watched that side of you unfold.  I'm so happy that you and Lane have each other and the bond you have will never be replaced by anyone else... so just try to remember that when you're 13 and he's 10 and "so immature".  ;)

 

 

 

This past weekend we celebrated your birthday twice.  First at Grandma Nancy's house with your aunts and uncles and cousins.  You had an Angry Birds cake (!!!) and a lot of fun with mommy's side of the family.  Then on Sunday you got to go to Chuck E. Cheese with Grandma Lori and Auntie Mandi, and then back to Grandma's for cake (Monsters University cake this time, lucky boy!) and presents.  We all loved celebrating your birthday with you... and the fact that we all willingly go to Chuck E Cheese, a.k.a. "Walmart's Fun Park" is a true indication of just how much we all love you!   

 

 

 

 

This morning while you were still sleeping I snuck into your room and snapped this picture of you.  No matter how big you get, you will always look exactly like the baby version of yourself when you're asleep.  I can't help but feel sad in the pit of my stomach when I look at this picture and the pictures of the first time we met. Sad because I only get to experience each moment with you once, and then it passes too quickly, but happy that I was blessed with a son like you.  Happy Birthday Jace, mommy and daddy love you so much!