My doctor said she was sure I would have a successful induction with how favorable my cervix had been for weeks, along with having two prior successful and quick inductions. She also thought my chances of being induced were pretty high even if I waited longer, based on my history. With that in mind I decided on a November 7th induction if she had not come beforehand. My doctor works out of a few hospitals and that was the day she would be working at the hospital I preferred. It was all very textbook, picking a date and saying "Ok we're having a baby that day!". I still wanted to have a pitocin-free labor, but my chances of that seemed pretty slim. There are a few upsides to inducing... planning sitters for the kids, knowing you have enough time for 4 full hours of antibiotics (because I was GBS positive again this pregnancy, like I had been with Lane.), and for me it was also familiar and I knew what to expect.
There were a few times where I thought that I could actually go into labor on my own, because I had been 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced with her head low and engaged for more than two weeks, and was feeling random signs that labor was near. But sadly all of those feels disappeared in the days leading up to my induction and I felt better than I had in weeks. I hardly felt pregnant at all the last few days, it was surreal and hard to wrap my head around the fact I'd have a baby by Friday since I felt so good physically.
I am a very nervous pregnant person, silently praying all throughout pregnancy that the baby and I stayed healthy and safe. So the days leading up to my induction I was pretty stressed out. Everyone kept asking if I felt excited... but what I really felt was anxious. I would be excited once she was here, but for now I was just anxious. I wanted to get it done and over with and hold her in my arms and know she was ok. It was especially hard to tuck the boys in for bed on Thursday night and know I wouldn't see them again before I headed to the hospital. I took one last bump picture before bed...
Tate and I had discussed how my labors had gone in the past and why I'd chosen not to do any pain medication with Lane after a failed epidural attempt with Jace. We discussed whether or not I'd try something this time. I said if I went into labor naturally I would probably just let it all happen naturally, but if I was induced for a third time I would consider an epidural. I remember the feeling of Pitocin pushing contraction after contraction right on top of each other and not being able to catch my breath during the last hour of my labor with Lane. At the time I was glad I didn't do pain meds because I felt fully present in the moment when he was born, unlike how I'd felt when Jace was born (very groggy), but the labor was very intense since it was artificially started and I had no option for positional changes to get natural pain relief.
Friday morning I woke up to my 5:00 am alarm and jumped into the shower, nervous butterflies in my stomach. Tate woke up and went to the gym to get himself energized for a big day. He got back and took a shower as I wandered around the house wondering what to do with myself. I ate a piece of toast with peanut butter since I'd been instructed to eat light. IPacked up a quick hospital bag (total third time mom waiting until the morning of!). We headed out to the hospital at around 6:15 am. They got us into a room and settled before our nurse popped in at 7:15 to introduce herself. I got changed into my robe and we sat silently in the room waiting for my IV to be set up. Tate clicked away on his laptop hitting some work emails while I relaxed in bed staring out the window at the sun rising and the traffic starting. The nurse joked that she could tell I already had kids at home since I chose not to turn on the TV and just enjoy the silence instead. She had three kids of her own, and I could tell already she was going to be the perfect nurse for us.
The nurse looked at the veins in my hand and arm and commented that I only had two veins that looked like they'd work without causing too much pain. I loved that she actually cared about positioning of the needle since the same vein on the bend of my wrist had been used with my previous labors and because of all the movement of my hand during labor the vein was severely beat up, and was sore for a couple of weeks after. She tried a vein in the top of my hand but it didn't work, so she tried the only other option... thankfully this vein worked and my IV of antibiotics was started. I was glad to see that it wasn't even 8 am and I was already on antibiotics, meaning by noon I would have my full two doses in to protect the baby from contracting an infection from the GBS.
The nurse spoke with my doctor at 8:00 and was given instructions to start my Pitocin right away but to start it low. The plan was to bump it up every half an hour until I had two hours of antibiotics in my system. The doctor planned to come between 10 and 10:30 to break my water. My doctor had been pretty sure my induction would go quickly, and didn't want to to break my water too soon and run the risk of me not having enough antibiotics in my system. If I didn't get enough antibiotics I would need to stay an extra day in the hospital for special monitoring of the baby. Which I really wanted to avoid, for safety reasons primarily but also because I was hoping to get home as quickly as possible after delivery. I really prefer recovering in my own home, in a comfortable environment.
The nurse checked my cervix after she hooked up the Pitocin and noted I was still 3 cm and 70% effaced, which is what I'd been for several weeks. I was a little disappointed but didn't give it much thought, thinking that as soon as my water broke we would be moving along quickly like my last labors had. Tate and I discussed how fast this all was moving, and that the baby could potentially be here by lunch time. It was all of a sudden exciting and my nerves had calmed greatly. The nurse asked us what our weight bets were. Since both boys were 8 lbs 8 oz, we should have assumed she'd also be a large baby... but I chose 7 lbs 14 oz and he chose 8 lbs 1 oz. I sat and texted my sister in law and mom updates, letting them know things were all hooked up and ready to get moving.
The nurse kept upping the Pitocin every half an hour and I actually started to feel it a bit, nothing very painful but I hoped that meant I was progressing a little. My doctor came in at 10:15 and checked my cervix, still 3 cm and 70% effaced. She broke my water and commented how low the baby was, saying "Ok now here's where it gets moving! See you in a bit!" and she was off to her regular appointments in the doctors office connected to the hospital. Contractions were noticably more painful but not as intensely as I'd experienced with my last labors. I made sure I was getting up frequently to use the bathroom and empty my bladder to keep things moving along. My nurse commented how strong and regular my contractions were and that that was a good sign, but since I wasn't appearing to be in much pain yet it was up in the air. (With GBS they won't check your cervix more than every two hours unless absolutely necessary because of the risk of infection.) The pain had increased a little as we approached noon so my nurse took her lunch break and Tate went to the cafeteria to get himself something as well.
Tate came back at 12:00 and was eating the largest, stinkiest club sandwich with soup and chips and soda... and I just glared at him. I wasn't allowed to eat and his food smelled amazing. I realized the fact I still had an appetite was a bad sign for labor progression, but was trying to be optimistic that I was at least a 4.5-5 cm by now. The nurse came in at 12:15 to check my cervix and was disappointed to see I was only 3.5 cm. All day and I had only progressed a half a centimeter. I was immediately depressed, but the nurse distracted me saying it was time to get up and walk the halls. She hooked up all of my monitors to a battery and instructed Tate and I to walk the halls at a good pace to get things moving. She said that even though the baby was extremely low, my cervix was still behind her head and the pressure of her head wasn't being applied to the right area. We started walking and Tate commented that they'd never had us do this before, I was always been stuck in bed. I told him it wasn't a good sign that we needed to be doing this and walked silently through the halls, starting to feel nervous that more wasn't happening. I started to cheer up a bit a few minutes later when the contractions immediately became more intense while walking. It was working! We walked faster and faster and I was starting to actually have to stop talking in the middle of a contraction, a good sign! Sadly the nurse had to keep stopping us because the baby's heartbeat kept getting lost on the monitor with the constant walking movement. Since the baby needed to be constantly monitored during the induction we walked back to the room and were instructed to try sitting and rocking on a birthing ball instead.
I was a bit discouraged because once I sat on the birthing ball the contractions were less painful again. I tried swaying and rolling and rocking. Nothing was making them intense and instead I was just really uncomfortable and my legs were tired. I sat silently in our silent room, freaking Tate out a bit while he worked on work emails some more. He didn't fully understand it, but although other people's labors may go this slow, MY labors never had. I immediately started wishing I hadn't chosen to induce and "push" the baby before she was possibly ready. I started thinking about what time they'd do my c-section, and thinking about the fact I would be away from my boys for 4 days instead of 1-2. I started wondering what it would be like to recover from a c-section, what the risks were for complications during the c-section and how long I'd have to labor and feel this pain for nothing before they decided to do a c-section. Would it be emergent? Would the baby's heartbeat skyrocket from a long intense labor without progression and we'd be whisked into the room and I'd be put under? I sat on that ball depressed and watching the clock... 1:00... 1:30...
At 1:30 I stood up and used the bathroom again. After coming back I decided not to sit back on the birthing ball and not to get back into bed, even though my legs were tired and my whole body ached to lay down. I stood in the room and rocked my hips back and forth like I was walking again, except staying in place and holding the baby's heartbeat monitor in place so she could still be tracked. I watched my contractions stay consistent on the screen, but noticed an immediate change in pain level from standing and swaying. It was 1:45 and I was breathing heavy through the contractions suddenly. I tried not to let Tate notice, I didn't want anyone else having high hopes things were moving forward besides myself. I was fully prepared to still be 3.5 cm at my 2:15 cervical check. I kept swaying and each contraction took a new pain level. Tate looked up and noticed my face and my breathing had changed. "Are you feeling it now? Are you in pain?!". "A little." is all I replied, trying to keep myself from being disappointed. In both my previous labors I had already had the baby or was pushing by this many hours after my water had been broken... so I watched the clock and swayed and swayed and swayed, determined to have this baby. Finally my legs felt like they were going to give out and I sat on the edge of my bed. It was 2:00 and I was feeling the pain, suddenly the contractions were coming fast. I started remembering what labor felt like. I was in pain, and I was SO GLAD.
I pushed the nurse-call button and she came in to check on me. I asked if she'd be willing to check me 15 minutes early. I was trying to not show I was in pain, and she said "Well let's wait 15 more minutes unless you're feeling alot of pain and want an epidural now... are you?" Her and Tate both looked at me inquisitively and I replied "Oh ok, yea no problem... I'm not in that much pain..." Typical me, still trying to not be disagreeable even in labor. I didn't want anyone's hopes to be dashed just to hear that I was still at 3.5 cm, so I pretended I wasn't in pain. A minute later I'd started huffing and puffing a little. The nurse had had me lay down on my left side with a couple pillows between my legs to try to rest for a bit. Laying on my side immediately boosted my pain level and during the next contraction I started moaning. Tate ran over and started rubbing my back... "Are you in pain?? What can I do?". I reassured him I was fine, and just feeling a little something now. He went to go sit back down and type another email. As I heard his fingers clicking away the next contraction hit me hard... I knew I was at 6 cm. I remembered 6 cm with Lane... the beginning of the bad stuff... only to get MUCH worse by 9 and 10 cm.
"Go get the nurse!" I yelled to Tate as the next contraction peaked, "I do want an epidural... NOW." He looked at me shocked and ran into the hallway to get her. She rushed in as another contraction flowed over my body. It had only been 5 minutes since she'd left. She asked if I wanted to be checked first or just order the epidural, I asked her to check me. She said I was easily at 6 cm. I told her I wanted the epidural because it was going to happen fast now. She ran out and ordered the anesthesiologist and got my extra bag of fluids hooked up to my IV. My contractions sky rocketed again and Tate was rubbing my upper back fast and hard to try to distract me from the pain in my lower abdomen. The nurse kept reassuring me the epidural would be here soon, there was someone getting one in the next room over so there was a slight delay. She was worried I was going to miss my chance to experience less pain this time because of how fast and hard the contractions were coming now. She discussed possibly getting an epidural shot if needed for immediate relief, since the typical epidural takes 20 minutes to fully kick in once it's hooked up.
I asked Tate to quit rubbing my back because I was suddenly very nauseous. The nurse handed him a "sick bag" and asked him to keep it near. He asked her what it was for and she explained. Even though I couldn't see him I could only imagine his face had gone white. He has the weakest stomach ever, poor thing. My whole body was shaking with adrenaline now and I was huffing and puffing and moaning through the contractions. I was still laying on my left side and there was no breaks in between the pain. The contractions were coming on top of eachother.
The anesthesiologist arrived around 2:45 and the nurse helped me sit up on the edge of the bed as she lifted it for the anesthesiologist. The positioning change actually helped my pain and the contractions slowed down a bit. I sat slumped over breathing through them as he set up and marked my back. He gave me a numbing shot and hooked everything up. The nurse held me completely still while he did this and pulled my hair into a ponytail for me. They were both so nice during the whole process. I immediately felt the pain level go down as the nurse laid me on my back and put a warm blanket over my body, telling me to try to relax while the epidural started working. She said to expect 20 minutes for it to kick in, but I felt an edge taken off immediately. I still felt the contractions but they were less and less painful with each one. Instead of feeling them in my stomach I started to only feel them low, like the baby's head was pushing on my pelvic bones with each one instead. I knew this meant it was time to push, but I was tired. I told the nurse and she checked me and confirmed I was at 10 cm. She told me to relax while the epidural took the pain away and let the baby push herself down the birth canal. She called my doctor, who was on her way now. The nurse asked me if I was upset I got the epidural so late. I said "Absolutely not, I feel amazing, totally worth it." I was laughing. Yes, LAUGHING. Not screaming and retching in pain like I was with Lane at this point.
By 3:10 I was feeling the full effects of the epidural. I could feel pressure with each contraction, but no pain. I could still move my legs easily. The perfect epidural I would guess... just enough numbness, without being too much. My doctor came in and put on her gloves. She and the nurse put my legs into the stirrups and got my bed prepared for labor. My doctor said "Oh wow, look at all her hair!". Tate looked shocked. The nurse called for a baby nurse as I laid there. The baby nurse came in at 3:15 with her baby cart. My doctor and nurse said to let them know when the next contraction was coming so I could push. I felt it coming 10 seconds later and pushed. The baby's head was out so they asked me to look and lightly push her the rest of the way out. I looked down and watched her being born. It was 3:17 and the room filled with precious cries. She was angry and purple and covered in white vernix and I'd never seen anyone more beautiful. We started laughing, and crying, and I couldn't believe she was here so fast. An hour and a half earlier I'd been stuck at 3.5 cm feeling no pain, and now she was here. She was safe and healthy and perfect.
The nurse put her on my chest for immediate skin to skin while the doctor delivered the placenta and commented that I'd had very easy delivery and not much need for stitches, unlike my last two labors where I probably pushed far too hard because of the pain I was in. The doctor decided to remove a mole on my inner thigh while she was down there, so while she did that Tate and I just stared at the baby as she laid on my chest. She came down the birth canal so quickly she had a lot of fluid in her mouth and nose and was getting upset about it, so rather than continue with skin to skin, we had the nurse take her to help clear her out and take her measurements. When it came time to weigh her we all waited in anticipation and then the number came up on the screen: 7lbs 14.0 oz, exactly what I'd guessed. Mom always knows I guess! :)
She was 20.5 inches and had a 13 3/4 inch head... she was by far my smallest baby, even though she was above average. She looked so tiny as I stared at her on the baby bed. Her legs were tiny twigs, just like Jace's had been. We kept commenting that she looked a lot like Jace, but with some of Lane in her also. The nurse brought her back to me wrapped in a blanket and turned the lights down low. My doctor was leaving and wanted to know her name.
Arden Evangeline, we told them. No names had sounded "right" to me during this pregnancy... until one night when I was about 6 months pregnant. I had a vivid dream where I was holding my newborn daughter and was asked her name... my response was "Arden Evangeline". I woke up with this weird feeling... Arden? Is that a name? I grabbed my phone and googled it. It popped up as a name more common for girls than boys, but not common at all. It meant "bursting with enthusiasm" and had literary history thanks to Shakespeare, and also represented birds and the forest. I spent all day thinking about the name... and it grew on me more and more throughout my pregnancy. I felt like it was a sign that that's what her name was meant to be. It suits her perfectly.
Arden Evangeline Broze
Born November 7th at 3:17 pm
7lbs 14oz 20.5 inches 13 3/4 inch head
