Life

I'm behind on blogging... what's new?!  I often feel the need to jot down a little something here... and then time passes and I don't get around to it and then more things happen and I want to post those and then I realize I haven't even posted about things that have happened six months ago, and then I tell myself to post those things first, and then I never get anything out.  Vicious cycle :)  So I guess I'll just have to post what I can, when I can, and not worry about the randomness of it all... because in twenty years when my kids are reading this, the timeline won't matter much anyways.  (aka, I will EVENTUALLY post about our trips to Minnesota for weddings and Christmas last year, ha!)

I will start posting updates on Lane now that he's four months and changing quickly... Four months.  Can you believe it?  When his pediatrician recommended starting him on food I almost fainted, my baby??  Ready for food?? No way, he's a NEWBORN.  Then I realized he really isn't a tiny baby anymore and that makes me sad.  (Side note: we haven't started him on food just yet, regardless of what our ill informed ex-pediatrician recommends... although I'm very excited to see his face the first time he tastes something other than milk!)

Lane is the sweetest little baby.  He's just happy and smiley all of the time.  He's... dare I say... "easy".  He's easy to love, easy to care for and a very good sleeper.  It's just so different from how Jace was sleep-wise.  I thank my lucky stars that I had my "good sleeper" second instead of first, otherwise I would have been spoiled into thinking that this was normal.  Lane was sleeping through the night (well until 5-6 am) before he was two months old and when he's tired he likes to just self soothe himself to sleep.  It almost makes me sad that he doesn't always need me to rock him to bed.  But I know that I'm lucky to not be very sleep deprived right now... because on top of everything else going on in our lives right now, sleep deprivation would probably push me over the edge.

There is alot going on in our family right now that's a bit stressful.  We've been house hunting for the last 6 weeks or so, and are running out of time to find something.  I feel like I've been living at various doctors offices in the last few weeks with the kids.  All you want as a parent is to have healthy happy kids, and when they aren't 100% healthy it's so overwhelming.  Within the last few weeks it was one thing after another, and when I thought I couldn't take any more stress, I sprained my ankle.  So then I was limping around from doctors office to doctors office with the kids... and really all you can do at that point is laugh... or have a mental breakdown.  I try not to choose the latter.

I'm not ready to get into too many details on some of the medical stuff until we know more, but if you're the praying kind... my sweet Lane could use some prayer.  We see a specialist next week that will hopefully be able to give us good news, but until then I'll continue to stress out and be a basket case.  The waiting is the hard part, and unfortunately they couldn't fit Lane in until next week.  I'm trying to remember to just be strong for my kids, and that whatever we hear from the doctor will be just "something" we need to go through and that regardless it will all be ok.  Tate's much better at being positive than I am though... or at least he pretends for my sake.

People have asked me about the transition from 1 to 2 kids, and how it's been and honestly I don't know how to answer.  I think it's overwhelming on certain days, but I'm not sure if it's overwhelming because we have so much "extra" stuff going on right now... or if it's just alot.  To all of a sudden be splitting constant attention between two young kids by myself all of the time is tricky.  It's not the actual work that's hard, it's that I'm only one person with two little people who deserve my full attention at all times.  Tate's job is wonderful and I feel so fortunate he works for a great company doing something he truly loves, but the traveling does get hard.  Being the only parent around for days at a time every week gets old after a while.  I would never dream of whining about it, because his job really is the best thing for our family... but it's a bit of a trade off.  I miss having my partner, my co-parent, and my best friend in the evenings to help me stay sane. 

It would be nice to have our extended family around during these times to spend some one on one time with Jace, or to watch Lane so I could take Jace out just the two of us.  Or just even to come over and have a conversation with me, so that by hour 72 of me having not seen or spoken to an adult I felt a little more human.  But that's not our situation, so there is no point in trying to imagine what that would be like.  And to clarify, I definitely don't have any complaining to do... especially in this economy to have such a great job, and for me to be able to be able to be a stay at home mom, and for us to be able to live comfortably.  I know we're fortunate.  I really really do.  But, yes it's sometimes hard... and I don't feel weak admitting that.

On a positive note, we're leaving tomorrow for Florida for a few days.  Sort of a spontaneous trip to spend some time together and relax.  We're staying on the ocean in Jacksonville Beach.  I loved taking Jace to the Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens when we were there last time, so we're looking forward to going back.  The zoo has a dinosaur exhibit going on right now and also has an easter egg hunt for the kids this weekend, so those are all things Jace will go crazy for... which will be good for him after being trapped inside so much lately.  We're all very excited to get out of town together, and need it more now than ever.  Now I should probably quit typing and start packing...  :)