Mommy Must Haves for a New Baby

I have some friends who are currently pregnant with their first babies and wondering just what the heck they actually need or want for their new bundles of joy.  When you have your first baby people just LOVE to shower you with gifts and buy your baby things, it's wonderful to be shown such generosity but the task of creating a registry can be daunting when you don't have experience.  I remember walking blindly through Babies R Us trying to click on everything I thought I wanted or needed when I was pregnant with Jace, not really knowing what I was doing.  I wish someone would have given me a little direction back then! 

With my second baby I had thankfully learned what was important and helpful to have, and what was just not necessary.  But most importantly, I learned that quality is more important than price with alot of things and getting the "good" stuff the first time around will make sure your baby gear lasts through all of your children... meaning creating a great registry and personal shopping list the first time around will benefit you for years to come.  Now that doesn't mean I recommend going out and spending a fortune on all the most expensive baby gear, I definitely don't.  I've just learned spending $200 on a second hand stroller that was originally $550 may be a better buy than buying a brand new stroller for $160 that's worth $160.  Saving money on the items listed below is as simple as shopping second hand, shopping clearance, and taking advantage of coupons and sales.

I put together a little list of items I felt were absolute must haves as a mom.  I've left off some of the more obvious essentials like "crib sheets" and "onesies", but I figure those don't really need to be discussed.  If you're reading this post and are already a parent.... what do you think, do you agree or disagree with certain items?  Did I miss anything?  Help some new moms-to-be out! 


Breastfeeding Essentials:

Boppy Pillow-  Without a doubt, this is the one baby item I could not live without.  This pillow forms perfectly to your body to allow easy holding of the baby while nursing or bottle feeding, so that your arms aren't about to give out at the end of a 45 minute feeding session.  A regular pillow does NOT work like this, trust me.  The boppy also doubles as a pillow that your baby can use to lounge in (while supervised), have tummy time on, and use as a safety net when learning to sit on their own.

Good Pump and Storage system-  There are several reasons to invest in a good breast pump, even if you plan to mostly breastfeed "directly from the source".  If you're returning to work, you will want to have a good breast pump and storage system figured out.  Even if you're planning to stay at home, there will be times when you will need to pump a bottle for a babysitter or significant other, even if it's just for the rare occasion that you have a dentist appointment.  For me, I would not have been able to successfully breastfeed my kids without a pump.  My body overproduces milk in the beginning and causes very painful engorgement, during those first several weeks I have to pump on top of nursing just to be able to survive the discomfort.  Also, Jace had a bad latch when he was born and I chose to exclusively pump for the first 2 months until he had grown a bit and had learned to latch properly.  You never know what roadbump you're going to hit with breastfeeding (and trust me, it can be TOUGH in the beginning) but a pump will help you get past those and over to the other side, where everything becomes very easy and enjoyable.  Pumping is also great for building up a supply in your freezer for when your baby is older or when you're no longer breastfeeding.  I love my Ameda Purely Yours pump, and use the Playtex Drop-ins pump storage system so that I can pump, freeze and feed all into the same thing.


**Additional items you may want: Depending on what your specific situation is you may also want to look at a nursing cover (here's my favorite), breastmilk freezer storage bags, bottle cooler bag for diaper bag, and nursing bras and tank tops.

** Although I can't speak from personal experience, if you're planning to formula feed make sure to only buy a few bottles and cans of formula ahead of time, rather than stocking up. You never know if a certain formula or bottle will work well with your baby or if you will have to switch to something that causes less gas or reflux.




Diapering essentials:

Changing Table- I have heard plenty of parents say they never used a changing table, and honestly I have no idea how you could survive without one.  It's one of my absolute must haves for baby.  You change the baby's diaper and clothing numerous times everyday and it's nice to be able to have everything in one spot, and at a comfortable height. You can use a contoured changing pad on the top of a dresser if you already have a dresser in the baby's room or purchase an actual changing table.  Personally we use a changing table with a flat changing pad and keep it on our main floor in our master bedroom, right near where we spend the majority of our time during the day.  I prefer the flat pad because it seems to allow more room on the table and also works well for sponge baths and tummy time.  (It also helps that they're half the cost of a contoured pad!)

Pampers Swaddlers Sensitive-  My absolute favorite disposable diaper for a newborn baby.  No other diaper can compare.  Plain and simple. 

Cloth Diapers- Even if you don't plan to cloth diaper full time, it's nice to have some cloth diapers on hand for those days that you may be spending all day at home and want to save money on the ten disposables you would have gone through that day.  Or your baby may get a diaper rash and need something completely chemical free against their sensitive skin.  I like using prefolds with Thirsties covers, not only because they're the most affordable cloth diapering option, but because I like that you can reuse the same cover throughout the day as long as it stays clean and just change the prefold.  Cloth diapering can seem intimidating, and like alot of extra work, but it's all what you make of it.  If you make it simple it will be simple.

Wet bag-  Though typically used for holding cloth diapers, wet bags are great for all parents.  Even if you use disposable diapers, you will find that your baby still manages to have plenty of bodily fluid soiled clothing.  If you're on the go and your baby soaks through his or her diaper and onto their clothes, you just throw the wet items in this zipper bag and the moisture and (most importantly!) the smell is trapped inside until it's time to wash.  If you've ever thrown a pee soaked outfit in a plastic bag thinking that would trap the smell inside, you've probably realized that it DOESN'T.  There is nothing worse than a diaper bag that permanently smells like old pee.  That's a smell that just never fully goes away!  I use the Planet Wise medium sized wet bag and love it.

**Additional items you may want: diaper rash cream, changing pad for on the go, and storage bins for keeping all your diapering items sorted and organized on your changing table.


Sleeping essentails:

Swaddle Wraps-  Most babies sleep best when swaddled, and a sleepy baby means a well rested mama.  You can swaddle with large swaddling blankets, but I prefer to use fleece velcro swaddlers.  They are much easier to put back on baby in the dark in the middle of the night during a diaper change, and much harder for the baby to break free from.  You can use fleece or cotton depending on the weather.  I never swaddled Jace and he didn't sleep through the night until 9 months.  I swaddle Lane and he's been sleeping through the night (most nights) since he was a few weeks old.  Coincidence?  We'll never know!

Bassinet or Pack n' Play-  During those first few weeks (or months) you will most likely want your baby to sleep right next to you for easy care during the middle of the night.  (Not to mention your new mom seperation anxiety!)  So although you may want to purchase and set up a crib right away in a seperate nursery, you most likely won't be using it for a while and more importantly need something for baby to sleep in right next to your bed.  A pack n' play is nice because it's multi-functional, but takes up a lot of room... so depending on your living situation, you may want to look into a smaller bassinet option.

Baby Monitors-  There are two types of baby monitors you will want to consider.  The first is a sound monitor that you keep one half with you so that you can hear when baby cries.  These are especially helpful when baby transitions into his or her own room and you want to make sure you hear if they start crying, coughing or vomiting in the middle of the night.  We use this one and like it because it only clicks on when it detects sound, rather than you always hearing constant white noise.  Some people invest in a video monitor so that you can actually peak at your baby, but we never felt one was necessary for us since we keep the babys in our room for so many months. 

The second type of baby monitor to consider is a movement monitor that detects if your baby stops breathing and needs to be roused immediately to prevent SIDS.  Most people will consider this an "extra" and not necessary... but let me tell you after not having one with Jace and constantly checking on him, to having one with Lane and actually resting when he's resting, it's 100% the best baby purchase I've made.  You can't put a price on peace of mind when you're a worried overly tired new mom.  Some movement monitors go on the baby's crib mattress, but we prefer the Snuza Halo monitor that slips right onto baby's diaper and can be used in any location that baby sleeps, whether it be in the swing, vibrating chair, carseat, crib, or in your bed.  It's nice also because if your baby falls asleep without it on you can simply slip it onto their pants rather than undressing them and go about your business knowing that if something is wrong, you will be notified.

Comfort Item-  It's great to have something that helps baby self soothe during the night, so that you're not the only thing of comfort to help them back to sleep.  It's normal for infants to semi-wake during the night without actually needing to eat or be changed.  If you have a comfort object such as a white noise machine or pacifier they will learn to self-soothe easier.  We've also found that having a fan or white noise machine helps drown out some of the noise that goes on in the rest of the house during nap or bedtimes.  Although these things may not seem to make a difference in the beginning, it's a routine that is built that eventually teaches the baby that when they hear a familiar sound it's bedtime... we use the soothe and glow seahorse for this.  It's also now recommended by pediatricians to put your baby to bed with a pacifier and a fan on in the room to lessen the risk of SIDS.




Bathing essentials:

Baby Bath-  We have a big plastic bathtub, but had I known what I know now I would have just gotten a bath pad like this one to place in the bathtub.  They take up way less space and work just as well if you're always planning to wash your baby in "real" bathtub anyways.  (As opposed to the counter top, where you would need a plastic tub.)

Sensitive Wash and Lotions-  As much as you want your baby to smell like sweet baby deliciousness, alot of babies will have sensitive skin.  Both my boys have had issues with eczema and needed to be switched to fragrance free wash and lotion.  My favorite wash is Cetaphil because it's gentle and doesn't leave any soapy film on the skin, and Aquaphor and Eucerin are great for skin dryness and even diaper rashes.  I do still sneak in California Baby Calendula Wash for the hair wash part, because I can't resist sweet smelling baby hair.  :)

**Additional things you may want: You will obviously need things like hooded towels and washcloths as well.  I prefer the ultra thin baby wash cloths because they're super gentle.  You will want ALOT of these since you may go through several with each bath.  Bath toys are great for making bathtime fun for an older baby who may not like being washed... and of course every baby needs a cute rubber ducky.  :)




On the Go essentials:

Carseat-  All carseats have to pass the same safety tests, so a more expensive carseat doesn't necessary mean it's any more safe for your baby.  You can choose to get an infant carseat that snaps into a base or go straight to a convertible carseat.  I definitely like having an infant carseat in the beginning so that you can put baby into the carseat inside and then just snap into place.  Infant carseats also allow you to easily transfer a sleeping baby into a stroller or shopping cart or house without waking them.  When picking a carseat out make sure to consider getting a gender nuetral color (if you're planning on having more kids) and don't make the mistake I did the first time around and get one with a pattern.  Look for one that's a plain solid color and in a black, grey or tan color that won't go out of style and will match any stroller you pair it with.

Carseat Cover- Depending on your climate you may want to invest in a carseat cover.  Snowsuits and jackets are never recommended for a baby in a carseat because the straps should be fitted to baby's actual body, and not anything puffy.  A carseat cover is great for warmth without bundling baby up and also great for privacy and wind resistance.  We use the JJ Cole Bundle Me and love it, especially when we had Jace during a Minnesota winter.

Nice Stroller- Invest in a nice stroller from the start and you will get your money's worth over time.  A stroller is something you will use for years and years, unlike most baby items that you only use for a few months at a time before they're outgrown.  I got an inexpensive Graco stroller with Jace that was part of a travel system, and I despise it now.  It can't even go over the smallest crack in the road without jamming to a hault and spilling anything in the cup holder all over me and the stroller, and when it's hot coffee that's definitely a safety hazard!  Research strollers and decide which one is best for your family.  And remember you don't have to buy it new, you can find a great deal on a second hand stroller on Craigslist or a mom's swap website.  Some well liked stroller brands are BOB, Baby Jogger, and Phil and Ted's.

Baby Carrier-  It's nice to have a heavy duty baby carrier for those times when you'd rather hold baby hands-free rather than pushing a stroller.  Whether it be at a crowded venue, while walking or hiking through non-stroller friendly terrain, or just because your baby prefers closeness a baby carrier is great.  I especially like having a baby carrier now that I have two kids, the carrier allows me to play at the park with Jace without setting Lane down.  I have the Ergo Organic and love it for outdoor use.

Large Bag-  Have you ever seen a cute diaper bag?  Yea, me neither.  Some diaper bags are tolerable and cute "for a diaper bag" but they're all really really pricey.  You know what looks an awful lot like a diaper bag?? A PURSE.  I use an oversized Kenneth Cole handbag as a diaper bag and much prefer it to my old diaper bag.  It doesn't scream "mom" like a Winnie the Pooh themed diaper bag, and it has all the function of a baby specific bag.  You can purchase an insert if having seperate diaper bag style compartments is important to you... although I've never needed to.

** Additional items you may want:  a mommy hook, a kid's music cd or playlist for a baby who hates the car, and plastic snack containers or reusable snack bags.


Clothing essentials:

Sleep gowns-  These little dress style sleep gowns are the most convenient pajamas for your baby to wear beneath a swaddle blanket or sleep sack.  No buttons in the middle of the night, no pulling legs out of sleepers... instead just pull the gown up, change the diaper, and pull down it back down without waking the baby back up.

Footed Sleepers-  Even though they're called "sleepers" your baby will most likely live in sleepers 90% of the time for the first couple of months.  They're soft and comfortable and easy.  Keep that in mind when purchasing a ton of fancy "outfits" in 0-3 month size... outfits are usually only reserved for special occasions, visitors, and photo-ops.  You will be better off purchasing those adorable seperates-style outfits in a 6+ month size when they will get more use.

Legwarmers- I personally think baby legwarmers are adorable, but besides that they're highly functional.  Your baby can wear a onesie (either long or short sleeve depending on weather) and wear legwarmers instead of pants.  The legwarmers don't have to be removed for diaper changes like pants do, and are easy to slip on and off baby's arms or legs as needed for extra warmth when on the go.  They're also great for protecting a crawling baby's knees from carpet burn.  I purchase mine from babylegs.com but wait for the 75% off sale they do a couple times a year.

Plain White Socks- Yes all those cute outfit-matching socks are adorable, but you will be cursing yourself everytime you are folding laundry and there are 30 mismatched microscopic baby socks sitting in front of you waiting to be paired.  Not to mention everytime you put on an outfit you have to find perfectly coordinating colors... who has time for that??  Make it easy on yourself and stock up on plain white socks.  :)

**Additional items you may want: Thin tight fitting hats for the first few weeks when babies aren't good at regulating their own temperature, a couple of baby hand mits to keep them from scratching themselves, and warm winter outerwear depending on the climate and if you will be going outside without your carseat and carseat cover (whether in a stroller or baby carrier).


Baby Gear essentials:

Swing- Because you can't always hold your baby.  Sometimes you need to actually set them down, even when they are wanting to be rocked.  A swing is great for all babies, but especially those who are high needs or colicky.  When picking out a baby swing look for one that can be plugged into the wall because otherwise you will be buying batteries for it every other week and there's nothing worse than having a colicky baby screaming because the swing ran out of batteries and you're all out in the house.  Also since a swing isn't easy to tuck away in a closet everytime you have a guest over and is usually left in the main living space consider if a jungle themed brightly colored swing will drive you crazy, and instead pick out something more neutral colored that blends in more with your home decor.

Vibrating Chair-  Even though a vibrating chair is similar to a swing in certain aspects, I think they're both important.  A vibrating chair is easy to grab with one hand and bring with you to the kitchen, or the shower, or anywhere else you want baby to go.  We have a papasan vibrating chair and love it.

High Chair-  When considering which high chair to buy consider what type of kitchen you have.  If you have plenty of chairs and a large table you may want to get a space-saver highchair that straps to a chair.  If you have a breakfast bar island that you're always eating and cooking at you may want to get a clip-on chair.  If you want a traditional highchair, make sure it's a sturdy one that isn't easy tipped over (especially if you have older monsters ... *ahem* children).  Also make sure that the highchair tray can be moved with one hand, rather than two, and that it has a removable tray top for washing, rather than having to remove the whole tray everytime.  We have this Eddie Bauer highchair and have loved it.  Added bonus, it blends in with our kitchen nicely.

**Additional items you may want: a bumbo seat to help baby sit up, and a travel highchair or booster seat (which you will find is worth it's weight in gold once your baby is mobile and you're at a non-child proofed house or restaurant!)


"Fun for Baby" essentials:

Infant toys-  Baby's don't do much "playing" as infants but they do love to chew on toys and put them in their mouth.  The best toys for young babies are ones they can chew on or grasp in their little hands.  Sophie the Giraffe is a great teether for both chewing and easily grasping.  Other great infant toys for small hands are links, oBalls, maraccas or egg shakers.

Play Mat- You will want to get some sort of playmat that baby can lay in with toys dangling overhead for him to stare at and swing at.  There are lots of options, some make noise and light up, some don't.  Whichever route you go, try to find one that has a mirror (babies love their reflection!) and some black and white contrast objects.

Jumperoo/Exersaucer- You probably won't use the exersaucer or jumperoo until your baby is 3-4 months old, but when the time comes you will be glad to have one!  They are great for setting baby somewhere to play independantly and get a little workout (aka more sleep!) at the same time.  We have had both a jumperoo and an exersaucer and I think they're both great, although a baby can jump and bounce a bit more in a jumperoo so I would choose that if you were to pick only one.

** Additional items you may want: some musical toys (our favorite is the sunshine symphony), and toys that your baby will grow into like a pushing walker, and interactive play table.

Bonding essentials:

Mom and Baby workout DVDs- If you're trying to get back in shape after your pregnancy but can't find the time to workout on your own, try a baby fitness dvd.  I have this one that combines yoga, pilates and baby massage in a fun (and sort of cheesy) way that incorporates your baby.  It's actually a good workout and your baby will probably really enjoy it!  It's great for bonding and wearing out baby right before bedtime.

Board Books-  Even though your infant won't really "understand" reading is great for bonding even from the youngest age.  One of my favorite things about being a parent is getting to rediscover the books I have memories of my parents reading to me at a young age.  Some of my favorite baby books are "I Love You Stinky Face", "I am a Bunny", and the black and white infant book "Look, Look".

**Additional items you may want:  a babysitter if you have other kids, so that you can have special one on one bonding time occasionally... even if it's as simple as being able to stay in bed with your infant for hours at a time and just play together.

2nd or Subsequent Child essentials:

Baby wrap-  I love my Moby wrap for baby-wearing around the house.  Jace was an easy baby that never really cried, so I never needed an infant wrap for him... but had my first child been fussy I would have invested in one back then.  Now that I have two kids the moby wrap is extremely helpful on those days where Lane really needs to be held, but Jace also needs my attention.  I don't feel torn when I wear it and instead can both hold Lane and do a puzzle with Jace.  The reason I prefer the Moby for indoor use rather than a baby carrier like the Ergo is simply that it's more comfortable to sit and lounge in.  It feels just like you're wearing a shirt.  This is also my favorite way to do airport travel with an infant.  We've had four flights with Lane since he was born, and I wore him in the Moby on each one, as well as through the airport, and it was a complete lifesaver.

Older child activities-  I stressed alot about how Jace would occupy his time once Lane came and needed alot of attention... especially during those frequent nursing sessions where I'm stuck on the couch for 30-40 minutes at a time.  I've found that traditional toys haven't really been helpful in keeping Jace occupied, because the majority of the time he wants me to "play toys" with him rather than playing independantly. Instead the things that he's actually really happy doing independantly seem to be more hands on activities and crafts.  Melissa and Doug makes such amazing activity pads for young kids, and Jace is a huge fan of their stuff.  Since his birthday and Christmas came around the same time as Lane was born, the majority of his gifts from us were their activity pads and puzzles.  His favorite thing to do when playing alone is stickers, we love this sticker pad the most, but all of them have been great.  He also loves to color so I leave out a large coloring pad and crayons for him to use whenever he wants.  He's also really into doing puzzles independantly, his favorites are the jigsaw style or this classic puzzle set.  Depending on your child you may find different things occupy their time better than stickers, coloring books and puzzles... but that's what has worked best for us.

Double Stroller- If your older child is under the age of 4 you will most likely want to have a double stroller.  I like the side by side double strollers rather than a tandem, but there are alot of different options and opinions.  When looking for one try to keep in mind the size of the stroller when folded (for fitting in your vehicles), the width of the stroller and if it will fit through traditional doorways, how lightweight and easy to push two children it is, and how age appropriate it is for your older child based on weight limits and the security of the buckle.  (I had to get a double stroller with a hard to remove 5 point safety harness so that Jace wasn't able to climb out like he was doing in our old stroller.  He now sits contently for walks knowing he can't get out so he may as well enjoy the ride!)  If your child is 4 or older and you're wondering if the double stroller is pointless you could look into a sit or stand option like the Joovy Caboose Ultralight that has options for your older child to walk, stand or sit. 

**Additional items you may want:  Patience!  ;)

What NOT to get:

Fancy Crib Bedding Sets- They're expensive and pointless.  Pediatricians recommend leaving a crib completely empty for safety reasons... no bumper pads or blankets should be in the crib.  Which means all you're going to be using is a fitted sheet and possibly a crib skirt.  Buy those individually and save a ton of money.  If that seems boring, keep in mind places like Pottery Barn Kids have some fun options for crib sheets and skirts, so it doesn't have to be boring just because there is no quilt.

Newborn sized outfits- You can buy a couple, but for the most part you will hardly use the "Newborn" size.  Both my babies were born weighing 8 lbs 8 oz and we skipped right over the newborn size altogether.  If you have a smaller baby you may use the size for a few weeks, but keep it simple, all your baby will really wear is cotton sleepers at that age anyways.  Try to resist buying every single cute outfit in that size because it's so itty bitty and adorable. 

Bottle Warmer- Hot water in a mug, set the bottle in.  Same thing... right?  Who has space for yet another appliance in their kitchen?  Maybe I'm wrong, but I've never understood the point.

Receiving Blankets and Burp Cloths- Most receiving blankets are too small to swaddle in, so you will likely end up just using them as burp cloths.  But both traditional burp cloths and receiving blankets are too thin to stand up to some of those really forceful spit ups.  If you have a baby with reflux the best product to use as burp cloths are a cheap pack of cloth diapers.  They're thick and absorbant and make sure no liquid passes through onto your clothing.  You can even sew some cutesy fabric onto them to make them more "fun".  Since cloths that catch projectile spit up should still be cute right? ;)

If you are a parent what do you think were your must haves?? Do you agree or disagree with some of the above?  Share what has worked best for you!